Having a Value System
My mom’s cabin has become a place of sanctuary for me. It’s where I come to recharge and strengthen the connection to myself.
The beginning of this year was a tumultuous time to say the least. I felt very unstable navigating my way through moving home, having to sort through things like deciding what comes next, who am I, what are my values and how does all this fit into the bigger picture of the journey of my life?
Ugh! The list seemed never ending which can cause a MAJOR spiral downwards.
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What I have discovered in the last few years and continues to hold true today, is that figuring out the next steps comes down to making a decision. Once a decision is made, then everything else that has been in a holding pattern has the ability to move and respond.
Indecision can become a breeding ground for confusion, anxiety, hopelessness, etc. At least this is what I have found in my life. And it doesn’t seem to get any easier when the decision being made will greatly impact the next steps of your life.
To help me squelch these not so fun feelings, I took to making a value list. I am a person who wants to do anything and everything, always wanting it right this minute. However life mostly does not work in this fashion, to really achieve takes patience, dedicated focus, a clear vision and the ability to zoom out and be able to assess the mile stones along the way.
My value list has become my guiding post for the people, places and things I allow into my life. It helps me navigate the big life decisions I have set forth in front of myself.
At this moment in time, I have exerted the most patience that I can remember to date.
AKA delaying the immediate gratification I so badly want.
Every time I want to change course for immediate gratification, I tell myself to reference my value list to determine whether this next decision supports or detracts from my overall goals.
It is a muscle I am strengthening because I know in the long run it will serve me well. Having perimeters to work within can sometimes lend itself to more creativity than having every option available because it forces you to make a decision about what you really want. I also have to remind myself that nothing is permanent, and if I do not like where I am at I have permission to change.
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There were certain words that kept coming to the forefront of my awareness this year. The main ones were partnership, stability, consistency and financial freedom. When I zoom out to look at my life at this moment, I have manifested all of the above. It didn’t necessarily come in the package I thought it would but it feels very right for me.
Behind the scenes there have been many tears along the way, self-doubt about my abilities, desires and goals, wondering if this next decision will make or break me.
Again, that downward spiral can be a real bitch!
As luck would have it, I have had the unwavering support from my friends and family who can see the bigger version of me when I cannot.
Having to do a reality checking on myself has become a consistent presence in my life, when I begin to compare and feel envious of others. I recognize that if I truly want what they have I can but discerning if that really is my path to take.
I am so grateful for my community (yes, I’m looking at you), my family and the tools I have acquired along the way that continually push me to evolve and test my truths.
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The self-care I want to share with you today is known in Jin Shin as a The Comedian.
Felt it was very fitting for this month’s newsletter. In the moments where we want to cry, yell, be angry or give up, humor can do wonders to take the edge off the situation at hand.
Your hips are a HUGE emotional/creative center of the body. When this area becomes tight, immobile or compromised, that effect reverberates throughout our system making it hard to move forward or to let go.
Keeping this area fluid literally allows you to take life in strides. This self-care hold helps the heart and alleviation of bloat.
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To do this hold, you will need:
your two hands
a comfortable place to sit, stand or lay down
5-10 minutes to apply
Find your comfortable place/position (if you are new to using Jin Shin, I suggest finding a place that is quiet to start, where you able to focus on what is happening in your body/mind).
Once you are set up, gently place your hands on your hip creases. Right hand on right hip crease, Left hand on left hip crease. There is no need to push, poke or massage, simply let your hands be.
Now bring your attention to your breath, creating a nice even rhythm of inhales and exhales. Hang out here for 5-10 minutes (you can go longer if you like). At the end take a moment to notice what is different and how do you feel.